Moving On Up
My 100th post is also my last on this site. New adventures can be found at http://delilahx254.vox.com/.
The art of being a twentysomething continues indefinitely. Or at least for the next three years.
Blatant Theft
. . . of material that is not my own.This is what keeps me believing that someday Amar and I will get married.... Or, barring that, at least meet in person.
'Cause When the Music's Connected
. . . It's like everyone's protectedA shameless plug for my new favorite band and fellow Massholes, The Slip. If you're looking for new music--and even if you're not--you need to check these guys out. Absolutely amazing. Their new album "Eisenhower" is fanstastic. Favorite songs so far? "Life in Disguise" and "Children of December." I may be just a little bit obsessed.... and yet, I'm ok with that.And they may be coming to your town!
People are strange, thats why we're strangers
What a Year for a New Year
. . . we need it like we needed life, I guessWith the holidays rapidly approaching, it must mean it's time for my annual holiday consumerism blog. Hooray! But instead of just bitching about the complete and utter Christmasconsumercrap that is this holiday, I thought I'd instead make yet another list of ways to make this ridiculous season even more enjoyable:1) Last Laugh '06Nothing says happy holidays like the bitter, angry comedy of Lewis Black.2) Mighty GoodsOk, so it sort of counts as shopping. But the way shopping should be.3) Road trips to Maine with Tony to an adult store for offers of lesbian sex with KarliUnfortunately most readers won't have the privilege of such an adventure, to which I say "sucks to be you."4) The Daily Show with Jon StewartWhen does this not make someone feel better? Don't miss their multi-part series on the "War on Christmas" and insight into the newly published Iraq report.5) ClementinesMakes me wonder why I don't live in Argentina, and what the health effects are of eating 3 at a time.6) Mani/Pedi's at The Square Nail StudioA friend and I just discovered this Davis Sq. establishment that can only be described as "orgasmic." 7) SimplificationNothing starts a new year like throwing shit away.8) Haiku T-Shirts
One word: Awesome.9) Keepin' it RealSimilar to #7. Come to terms with all the leftover crap, fix it, and move on. I have a black belt.2006 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.
Everytime I Turn Around
. . . I run into myselfWith my long-awaited escape from the U.S. rapidly approaching, I've been following one of the most anxiety-filled, nail-biting dramas of the season: the Birmingham weather report. The Weather Channel website has taunted me for the last 10 days, promising first one day of sun amongst the rain clouds, then just a day of clouds, then a different sunny day, then all rain, then another glimpse of sun, then all rain again. It combines all the anticipation of Grey's Anatomy with the frustration of Lost with the really horrible graphics and poor story line of Days of Our Lives. I don't know why this hasn't been marketed to the FOX Network yet.As of today, I have two days of "Scattered Showers" (as opposed to the wetter and presumably colder, "Showers") to look forward to. And with the requirement of packing in the next 48 hours upon me, it can only get more intense, people. Don't worry, though. I'll bring back souvenirs. Like a "Mind the Gap" sticker and a newly acquired Seasonal Affective Disorder._____________________________________I realized today I haven't blogged about my roommates (other than to comment on their Jewishness). Perhaps because I wouldn't know where to start. I'll only focus on two of the three, because the third one does not come close to providing the sort of entertainment and teeth-grinding frustration the other two do. For the sake of anonymity, I'll refer to them here by their most recent Halloween costumes: Slutty Referee and Slutty Butterfly (SR and SB, for short). Both SR and SB graduated from Jewish University last spring, and are having some clear adjustment issues to the "real world," along with countless other issues. SB is in the middle of an early quarter life crisis, which has manifested itself as a 20 year old boyfriend who's still a Junior in college. College Boyfriend can only be described as "that kid." You know who I'm talking about. Nobody dislikes "that kid," but nobody really likes him, either. I knew he was "that kid" when, within 30 seconds of meeting me, launched into his best Cartman impression. You know. SB also has the uncanny ability to carry on an entire conversation with herself. All she needs is a question or comment to start with, and off she goes. I actually recorded her once for my communication course. Out of what was supposed to be a 12 minute conversation, she spoke uninterruped for 8 minutes and 32 seconds, and self-selected approximately 9 different topics in that time. It's truly a marvel to behold. SB also frequently sets off the smoke detector by frying hot dogs, and is genuinely surprised each and every time.SB's quirks aside, it is SR who truly boggles the mind. Even though SR works full-time running the website of a major television network affiliate, she is unable to perform such tasks as "turning off the water in the sink" or "closing the front door when she leaves." Recently, SR went away for the weekend and took my toothbrush with her. My toothbrush, which looks absolutely nothing like her toothbrush. When I walked into the bathroom that morning and gazed upon the empty space where my toothbrush once resided, I knew immediately what had happened. It was not malicious in any way, just pure, unadulterated stupidity. Furthermore, SR's life, as she tells it, rivals the Birmingham weather report in drama and intrigue. Several times a week she addresses me with the statement "We have a crisis." I've learned from experience that this can mean anything from "I don't know what to wear" to "I'm about to start talking." Obsessing about her new boyfriend and reiterating how much she hates drama are two of her favorite, most ironic, hobbies. Coincidentally, one of my favorite moments of SR is derived from the aformentioned boyfriend. On the eve of their first date, as she paced around the apartment shrieking about what a catastrophe the date was sure to be, I asked what the worst case scenario was. She replied it was that he was ugly, and that she could not look at ugly people. When I started laughing she only looked at me, head slightly cocked to one side like a terrier who hears an unfamiliar sound.____________________________________This just in:Birmingham is now scheduled for Showers, Light Rain, Scattered Showers, and Few Showers. Jesus, the anticipation is killing me. What's the difference between scattered and a few? WHAT IS IT??? 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42....
I am Carrying this Scrap of Paper
. . . that can crack the darkest sky wide openThe fall of 2006 has been bringing about great things (aside from the fantastic Foley scandal, chaos in Iraq, and everything else that's generally dragging the Republican party down). Here are just a few of the recommendations to get you through the onset of ridiculously cold weather and the blatantly consumerist holidays.1.) The newest Liberty Mutual ad by Hill/Holliday. Absolutely brilliant.2.) "Half Acre" by Hem, from the Liberty Mutual ad. Download it immediately.3.) Pumpkin Spice coffee by Green Mountain Coffee Roasters. I get mine at Bruegger's, but it may be available elsewhere. Possibly somewhere that doesn't make your hair smell like a deli all day.4.) "Big City Life" song and video by Mattafix. Who knew the French could be something other than dirty (and lazy)? See the video here. 5.) The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. This is really good year round, but it has been especially good in the last few months. If anything can make me laugh about the death of the Crocodile Hunter, it's the Daily Show.6.) Frizz-Ease Daily Nourishment Leave-In Spray. This is the greatest hair product ever. Keeps your hair healthy and happy despite styling products, wind and sub-zero temperatures.7.) Pumpkin Spice Latte by Starbucks. The Guinness of the Green Mountain version (in that it is way more filling than any beverage should be).8.) The Scott Mills Show on BBC's Radio One. You can listen to the streaming 3 hour show in its entirety on the BBC's website, but for those of us who don't have 3 hours to listen to the radio, you can also subscribe to the free podcast on iTunes. 9.) Socks. Who knew they were so effective at keeping your feet warm? Someday I hope to own more than 3 pairs.10.) America by Razorlight. Stupid Brits. It would be a lot easier to hate you if you didn't keep producing such cool music.
And just in case you're wondering about what you should avoid at all costs this fall? Student loan companies, crappy health insurance, melodramatic roommates, and expensive coin-operated laundry machines top the list. I could go on, but that would need another post.
What the--?
. . . does Google know something I don't?As those of you with a Google mail account know, text-based advertisements are run at the top and bottom of your browser screen based on key words from your e-mails. The point of this, of course, is to more accurately reach a target audience. Most of the time I pay no attention to these ads, but I couldn't ignore the first one that popped up on my screen tonight. Now, I can say with absolute certainty that at no point in my gmail.com career have I ever sent or received e-mails with any of the words included on that site. Were I not able to be 100% certain that I am not pregnant, I would be severely disturbed.
But thanks, Google Mail, I'll keep that in mind.
